January 15th, 2022
My people. My circle. My tribe.
Can we all agree that it’s freeing to find a place where you belong? A space where you are fully accepted and you can just be?
As humans, we are born and wired for connection. For some of us, our ancestral history shows us that moving in numbers was vital to safety, security, and even survival. To date, research has shown that belonging to a community can buffer us from the negative effects of stress and even foster happiness.
Develop a Tribe Mentality
This past week at the office was particularly challenging. For many of us, life is life-ing and we are navigating its ebbs and flows as best we can. As a matter of fact, as I think on the last almost two years, the lyrics to one of my grandmother’s favorite songs comes to mind:
So how can we navigate life’s challenges in a healthy and mentally fit fashion? The first thing I would offer is to find a therapist. Therapy provides a subjective, non-judgmental, and safe environment to vent, process, and heal. I’m including a link here with some tips on how to find the right therapist.
The second thing I would recommend is surrounding yourself with people who show you genuine care and understanding and also encourage you to live your best life.
Notice I said “people.”
Who do you have in your life that you can say always has your back? Your ride or die? The crew that you’re down with like four flat tires and a spare with no air?! [<—that one came from a client this week!] Is it a coworker? A family member? Friends?
A tribe consists of authentic connections.
A tribe reflects our values.
A tribe satisfies our need for companionship.
A tribe shares commonalities.
A tribe possesses qualities we aspire to adapt.
A tribe has our best interests at heart.
Does this characterize anyone that you share space with?
Tap Into Your Tribe
“I don’t have anyone to talk to.”
“No one shows up for me.”
“I feel so lonely.”
Recognizing and identifying your tribe requires some introspection. I typically walk my clients through an exercise asking, “Who would you consider to a part of your support system? Are they friends? Cousins? Coworkers? A partner?” Once we list those people, I urge them to go a little deeper. “What kind of support do each of these people provide in your life? How do they show up for you?”
When we walk through this exercise, almost always, my client will find that they actually do have a community of people who love them and are willing to help by any means necessary.
The “tapping in” part of the tribe mentality requires vulnerability. If you’re anything like me, “I’m good,” It’s okay,” and “I don’t want to bother you” are all common phrases that are overused in your life. If this is you, here’s another question to ponder. “Do you provide space for people to show up for you?”
Yeah. I know right. Pause for a moment and take that in.
More often than not, people don’t show up for you because there’s no space and they don’t know how to. If you always look like you’ve got it together, how can someone support you?
Let’s agree to a challenge. This week, practice tapping into your tribe by saying, “I need you.” Go even further into that vulnerable space and say, “This is how I need you to show up for me today.”
Authenticity, vulnerability, and trust are the ingredients needed to reap all of the benefits of your people; your circle; your tribe.
P.S Do you know of anyone considering therapy? Are you looking for a therapist? Good news! We are currently accepting new clients. Just send an email inquiry to firstname.lastname@example.org, or click here. Also, share this blog with friends and family, and follow us on Facebook and Instagram.